


300 Steps

by embroiderama



Category: White Collar
Genre: Community: run_the_con, Dialogue-Only, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 13:51:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/868278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embroiderama/pseuds/embroiderama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twenty flights of stairs is a long trip on a sprained ankle--good thing Neal has Peter to hold him up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	300 Steps

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for [](http://run-the-con.livejournal.com/profile)[**run_the_con**](http://run-the-con.livejournal.com/) for [](http://kaylashay.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://kaylashay.livejournal.com/)**kaylashay** 's prompt "It's a long way to the bottom." I don't think I've ever written dialogue-only fic before, so this is a bit of an experiment.

"Maybe they could send a helicopter? Ow!"

"Careful. A helicopter?''

"You know, Medevac. They could land on the roof, and we're only one flight of stairs down from there."

"That would be a great idea, Neal."

"So you'll call them? Wait, it _would be_?"

"It would be an excellent idea to have Medevac send a helicopter to land on the roof and whisk you off to a trauma center if you were, I don't know, suddenly missing a limb. You look like you're all in one piece to me."

"I could call Mozzie, get him to bring over my base jumping gear."

"And you think he wouldn't mind carrying that gear up twenty flights of stairs so that you could avoid hobbling down on a sprained ankle?"

"Probably sprained. The EMT said it was probably sprained, but maybe it's broken."

"We're going to get you checked out just as soon as we get out of this building, but I'm pretty sure it's a sprain not a break. I've had both, okay?"

"..."

"And anyway, you really want to base jump down twenty stories and land on that ankle?"

"At least it would only hurt once."

"Right, it would. And if you were unlucky you might get creamed by a bus, and then nothing would ever hurt again."

"S'not luck, it's skill. Ow! Like poker, and I won the game, huh?"

"Yes, Neal, you did an excellent job and won the game. It's not your fault that Nuckols got mad enough to blow out all the elevator controls."

"That's why I should get a helicopter."

"You mean a helicopter ride, right, not a whole helicopter?"

"Whichever. I won that game! And I wasn't even entirely not drunk."

"Yes, and I guess that wasn't your fault either, but Neal--you _could_ have had a ride down the stairs. You didn't have to walk. Or hobble or whatever you want to call this."

"A ride on a stretcher! I don't need a stretcher for a sprained ankle!"

"But you want a helicopter to be mobilized to come pick you up from the roof?"

"A helicopter's one thing, Peter, but a stretcher would just be pathetic."

"And this isn't?"

"Huh? Ouch!"

"You want to sit down and take a break?"

"No. Ow! There are really a lot of stairs."

"Yes, there are a lot of stairs in twenty floors."

"It's really a long way to the bottom. It's--um."

"Whoa, hey, no looking down over the railing and getting dizzy."

"I maybe had too much vodka."

"Maybe."

"But they weren't gonna trust me if I didn't drink it."

"I know. That's why I said it wasn't your fault. Now come on, focus on the stairs."

"How many more?"

"How many flights? Sixteen. How many stairs? A lot."

"A lot."

"..."

"..."

"Ow. Wait, wait."

"What's wrong?"

"My ankle. Felt like I was gonna fall."

"You're not going to fall because I've got you, okay?"

"O-okay."

"If you're that unsteady I can call the paramedics back up here to meet us."

"No!"

"Or you could sit down and scoot down the stairs that way."

"Peter! These pants are vintage wool."

"Right, of course they are."

"..."

"..."

"There should be an escalator."

"That would be convenient, yes."

"I would slide right down it--woooosh!"

"That would be an incredibly bad idea."

"I did it before. I had to get away fast and--"

"Neal, stop. Are you sure this is something you should be telling me?"

"Oh, it's old, way too old to worry about."

"What, do you have the statutes of limitations memorized?"

"Most of them? But it was _really_ long ago."

"How long ago are we talking about?"

"Um, 1998?"

"Still, depending on what you did or what you--"

"And I stole some churros."

"..."

"You know, from a cart."

"..."

"They were good."

"Yeah, I'd say that's past the statute of limitations."

"I told you!"

"You told me."

"Ow! Woah! Ow!"

"Steady. You're not going anywhere."

"Right. Right."

"How about we concentrate on walking instead of talking. We still have ten more flights."

"Okay."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You doing okay? Time for a break?"

"Tired. But if I sit down--"

"Okay. You did a good job today, you know that?"

"Up until I tripped over a table leg during the take-down. And I can't even blame it on the anklet 'cause you took it off."

"That doesn't change the fact that you did well."

"You ever notice most of the things I'm good at are illegal?"

"..."

"Peter?"

"I think you're good at almost anything you practice. You're good at this too, working on the right side of the law, and I don't just mean doing something like playing poker here tonight."

"I don't know."

"I do."

"..."

"You know you're a pessimist when you're drunk and in pain?"

"Strange how that happens."

"..."

"How much further?"

"Not too far."

"And you won't let me fall?"

"Not ever."

"..."

"..."

"I still think base jumping would've been better."

"Of course you do. Look, one more flight."

"Oh. Oh, good."

"Just think, we'll get you checked out and get you set up on the couch with some ice on that ankle. Satchmo loves being a foot stool."

"Satch--your place?"

"There are a lot fewer stairs than at June's house, don't you think?"

"Yeah."

"..."

"..."

"Hey, keep your eyes open, we're almost home-free."

"M'awake."

"Good."

"Hey, Peter?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For not letting me fall."

"Always, Neal. Always."


End file.
